Lately, I’ve been noticing how God is transforming me by turning my pride into humility.  I’ve had a lot of days where I’ve found myself saying, “If you make it through until the end of the day, tomorrow will be a fresh start.”  Those days where my alarm doesn’t go off because I forgot to check that it was set before I went to bed.  Days where I forget to do an assignment.  Days where I embarrass myself by saying something stupid.  Days where I hurt my friends because I’m not acting as Christ has called me to do.  Days where I’m exhausted because I stayed up too late watching Netflix, instead of wisely going to bed.  I’ve had so many of these epic fail days, but as stressful and hectic as they are, I am so grateful for them.

     Each of these days that leaves me feeling weary and inferior pushes me closer to God.  You see, I’ve struggled with pride for a while.  You can even ask my family and long-time friends and they’ll tell you I’ve been a proud person since a young age.  It’s constantly been the biggest sin I’ve struggled with.  For a long time, I would have thoughts of superiority and about how I didn’t struggle with sin like other people did.  Let me tell you, that was a big fat lie that the enemy wanted me to believe.  Pride itself is a sin (Proverbs 16:5) and Satan wanted to use that sin to make me think I didn’t need God.

     The enemy’s scheme worked for a while.  I thought terrible things and acted in atrocious ways.  I would think things like, “Out of everyone in the youth group, I’m the best Christian.”  I’d find myself judging what others said, telling myself that I would never be stupid enough to say what they had just said.  I believed that I didn’t do anything wrong and put myself on a pedestal.  I was so far from God.  I was praying.  I was reading my Bible.  I was spending time in communion with other believers.  But the devil was fighting hard, and as close as I appeared to be to God, through Scripture and prayer, my heart was far from His heart.  I was caught up in going through the motions.  I was just like the Pharisees.  I was so caught up in legalistic things like not lying, not stealing, and praying before meals that I missed out on God’s love and grace for me.

     God’s love is so good and His grace is endless.  Every day that I have that doesn’t go my way humbles me and allows God to pour out His love and grace upon me.  My failures show me that I am human.  I am not God.  I will never be perfect.  I will always sin and I will always fail when I try to do things on my own.  But when I fail, it causes me to rely on God.  And let me tell you, when you rely on God, He shows up big time!  The number of little things God has done to show me His love and sovereignty is amazing.  On days where I’ve had no idea how I was going to get everything done, deadlines have been pushed back.  On days where I’ve felt down, God has sent me just the right person to encourage me.  When I got discouraged because I applied for several jobs with no response, God provided me with the best job in the world, that I didn’t even apply or ask for!  

     God loves you (John 3:16).  God is fighting for you (Exodus 14:14).  God will provide for you (Philippians 4:19).  But, you have to acknowledge that you need Him.  You have to acknowledge that you will fail on your own.  You have to humble yourself and be willing to let God lead.  When you fail, let God pour His grace out upon you, but don’t stay in your sin and failure.  God’s strength is enough.  Not through your strength, but through His strength alone, will you be able to revel in His love and grace, remain humble, and glorify Him through obedience.

Author: Mollie