On August 8th, 2019, I got a call asking if I would be interested in substitute teaching in a high school math class. I also had a job interview lined up at the library. I was confused and had no idea what I was going to do.

Up until this point, my plans were to graduate college and go straight into teaching in an elementary classroom. I was excited to have my own students and teach multiple subjects. Due to many different circumstances, I found myself at the beginning of a school year, with a pending teaching certificate and no full-time job. Both of the job opportunities presented were good options, but neither was what I expected.

I really wanted to say no to the long-term substitute teaching job. I wanted the job at the library more and figured I could still sub in the classroom on days I wasn’t working at the library. Something inside me was unsettled and knew I shouldn’t take the library job, so I decided to accept the sub job. At first I was anxious and not super excited about the job. I started forming relationships with the students, but didn’t feel like I was doing an adequate job. 

About halfway through the year, one of my students shared her favorite Bible verse, Esther 4:14: “If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” This got me thinking, what if all of the circumstances that I had seen as frustrations and hindrances to my plans were actually preparing me to minister to these students? What if God had led me to a job I had no desire to take, because he needed me there to further His kingdom? What if he also knew I would be blessed greater through that position than any position I would have accepted on my own? 

Yesterday, on May 20th, 2020, I turned in my keys to the classroom that gave me a space to grow. I was only supposed to be in that classroom for a few months, but a few months turned into a semester, and a semester turned into a year. I wouldn’t have wanted it to work out any other way. Looking back, I know that God called me to be in that class with those crazy students. He worked through the gifts and talents that he has given me to bless those students. He worked through the gifts and talents of those students to bless me. 

So, turning in my keys yesterday was hard. It was the clear end to an important chapter in my life. A chapter that challenged me, blessed me, and helped me to grow. Here’s what I know to be true when I reflect on this past year: God’s ways are always higher and better than anything I could come up with on my own (Isaiah 55:8-9). So, I’m leaning into Him and trusting that He has great plans for me.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9, New Living Translation

I am once again in another season of waiting. I am searching for a teaching job in a season of uncertainty. I’m confused and unsure of what the future holds, but I have peace. I have the type of peace that is mentioned in Philippians 4:7. I have peace that surpasses understanding. I have peace that this world can not offer. 

I am looking back at all God has brought me to and through and trusting that He will continue to lead me. I am leaning into this season of waiting and relying fully on God. I am taking the steps I can and releasing everything out of my control into the hands of God. I am spending time in prayer and in the Word. I am eagerly waiting to see where God leads me next. Whether it is what I want, or something completely different, I know that God is writing my story and his goodness will exceed all of my expectations.

I want to leave you with a quote from a devotional that I have been working through this year. “Rather than initiating your own plans and asking God to bless them, try to see what God’s plans are and join in.” These words perfectly sum up the biggest lesson I learned this year. I could have chosen my own plans, but I chose to trust God’s plans and lean into those. When you let God lead, and seek His ways, you will never be disappointed in what He does for you.